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16 Mar 2011

A great philosopher once wrote "Naughty Naughty"

Some fundraising fancy dress thing at Longsands. Good times
'tis Red Nose Day on Friday and I think we all know that theres a new cause that needs to be donated to now.  For all those who are confused, a Tsunami isnt what Newcastle United supporters refer to themselves as.  Its really bad, I dont think anybody could have seen it being this bad.  If you do wish to donate to the cause then 08450 53 53 53 is the number you need, alternatively visit http://www.redcross.org.uk/ I've already donated.

So yes more work blah blah blah, but its ok, i'm flicking between emotions of "uggggh so much work, so little time" and "ugggh so much time, too little to do."  Basically I really cant get into the work I need to do.  Don't know why.  I think maybe if I clean my room after work tonight it will help me be more constructive, I hate being in an untidy room.  After all they do say a happy room is a room that you're likely to do essays in...or something like that.  So yeah, I'll let you know how that goes. 

Sarah really wants me to grow my hair.  But I just dont think it suits me.  It wont stop me looking like a 12 year old, I'll just look like a 12 year old bassist from some crap band called...hmm whats a pathetic name for a band trying to be cool..."Loose Change". 

Right, so I know a lot of you have been thinking "Dave, you're such a great guy with so much potential and drive, yet how do you manage to remain so handsome?" well my dear readers I'll let you in on a little secret.  It's no secret lotion or potion, heck its not even Dove.  No, its a simple technique that I learned many years ago whilst on my travels with the Shaolin Monks.  They said to me "Master Honour, whilst you have taught us how to live our life amazingly well, we wish to tell you how to keep your awe inspiring good looks.  You must make a drink, this drink must be made from the meat of a female sheep, the blood of a sting-ed and wing-ed insect and infused together."  And that my friends is how i stumbled upon the secret of BeeEweTea.  Feel free to take my teachings and use them yourself.  Foot and mouth was a myth invented by mineself to save the stocks of sheep meat for my own use.

I am also reknowned for being the inventer of such things as; the zip, flapjacks, the apostrophe, Zimbabwe and Christianity.  Edison? Dyson? Gates? Pffft, they have nothing on me.  I'm currently constructing my latest invention, an auction website, where people buy things that others have by bidding higher than other people, it's only in development at the moment, but a little sneakpeak is that it will be called 'E-getotherpeoplesthingsbay"  Catchy no?

Well I know you all have an appetite for much more of Daves Delicacies, but for now you'll have to settle for some Honour d'Ĺ“uvres.  Leave them wanting more, but dont go anorexic on me now, you can feast again in another few days.

Time flies when you're enlightening others, got to go Bloggeriffic Blog Bloggies.

(This video reminds me of the first time I saw my Sarah in the flesh, brilliant advert)

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