Bend your knees...but the other way



Yes it's everyone's faveourite pic,
me kissing a packaged piglet.
And yes it is real....but dead...
its guts are hanging out and
everything :)

 Well well well, look who's back.  I knew you would be.  You couldn't resist could you?  There's no shame in admitting it though.  Lots of interesting stuff to fulfill your brain with today.  Lets begin shall we?

Ok so first things first.  I got an email today back from that company that I had a phone interview with and they've asked me to have a second interview at their HQ in Oxford next week.  All good stuff...except the dressing up bit.  I suck at actually having to look really presentable.  I dont do smart...in terms of dress anyway.  But I've always been told to make a good first impression, so I think I'll do my Tony Blair impersonation to begin with.  Bound to go down a treat.  Speaking of dressing nice...I dont care what the hell Kate Middleton's going to wear to her wedding, as long as she doesnt leave Billy boy standing at the altar then thats all I care about...infact im not sure I even care that much about that either.  I just want the bank holiday.

So 2 days and 3 nights left to get 2 assignments finished, lovely.  But this stuff is boring the hell out of me, I mean you know its bad when you're sat counting the left over noodles remaining from last nights £1 Tesco value sweet chilli chicken noodle microwaveable meal...did I mention I'm a student?  News flash by the way.  I've decided to switch from doing my online shopping from The ASDA Man to The Tesco Man...sacrilege indeed but there are reasons for this.  Firstly, Mr ASDA wants to charge me £5.50 for delivery when they used to be £3.50 sometimes, this price no longer exists.  I didn't realise they were shipping from Benghazi, hence the increase. Sir Tesco however is hovering around £4.50 which is some improvement.  Secondly if you book with Lord ASDA after 10PM then you cant get it the next day, but i booked with Count Tesco at 2AM and he had it on the doorstep at 9AM.  Clearly the smart price staff members are incapable of bagging 30 items in 7 hours.  So Waltons, you've lost a customer there.  I expect a hearfelt apology soon. 

Another question I've been hearing a lot from you guys is "Dave, are you REALLY the largest producer of candles in Western Europe?" I know a lot of rumours have been circulating that the Belgian Army is better at it than me but this is simply untrue.  I can produce many-a-candle.  From scented (such as the refreshing 'Morning Breath Breeze' to the uplifting 'Eau du unflushed Toilette") I also produce wireless candles and flameless candles.  I'm thinking of bringing out a catalogue of my candles, it will be called Wick-ipedia.  Catchy no?

It's Red Nose Day!  The telethon is already on and I hope you've donated.  If not then either do so or get a bundle of cash, and rig some sort of king size ruler to fling the bundle towards Africa, if it doesn't reach then I'm sure some happy tramp will pick it up and take it to Africa for you...after expenses.  Giving money away to help others is aways good, like paying taxes, or putting into a Northern Rock bank account...which nowadays is technically the same as paying taxes...controversial.

So there we go my dear Bloggies.  Read over and over until your hearts content.  Feel free to browse the archive too if you want a refresh on what I've been doing.

Until next time, like an anti-semite in an auction house, i bid you adieu.

(Me and Lara in Hurn last year)