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14 May 2011

One word lady...Go!

Like a poster for an awful military comedy film.
Tally ho!!  It's blog time chums!  I was worried that I wouldn't get one out to you tonight because the website had been down for maintenence for over a day.  Some drunk bloggy probably threw up in the website bathroom, terrible mess in there.  You're not allowed in though.  Only legendary blog writers are allowed, such as yours truly...(me).  But enough about hypothetical restrooms and vomit, ON WITH THE BLOG!

Confirmed!  I will be working in London for my work placement, after my months training in Oxford.  It's not bad, but looking for a place to live is proving to be a nightmare.  I pay £300 a month currently for this house, in London they want £450 a WEEK and thats a crap one bedroom flat in Brixton.  Come on!  It would be cheaper for me to just buy an annual pass for the tube and just sleep on the circle line all night, which could be interesting and a plausible idea if a certain fundamentalist religious group didn't want to blow me up all of a sudden because another country (no names) killed their leader, dude, guy.  Lets just refer to him as... Osama B L ...no, O Bin Laden to retain his anonymity.  So the race in on to find a house ASAP.  I'm in talks with a few contacts in and around London who may be able to help.  Thank you to all of you.

I bought a EuroMillions ticket today.  For those from other continents, EuroMillions is a lottery involving loads of countries from Europe which makes the jackpot all the better.  The jackpot tonight was like £107,000,000, and of course everyone wanted a ticket.  People amaze me, they wont buy a ticket if the jackpot is £35m but when its £107m then EVERYONE wants one.  What?  £35m isn't enough for you is it?  You have debts so massive that £35m wont settle them?  But I'm being a bit of a hypocrit as I bought one tonight when I rarely do, but thats just because I usually forget.  I came up with a plan of how I'd spend my £107m....
  1. Buy a DECENT flat for my work placement in London.  I want a good place to live for my £10-15k job.
  2. Spent a few hundred to buy the city of sunderland and then sell it to North Korea as a test site for their nuclear missles.
  3. Buy my girlfriend a new pair of shoes.
  4. Buy a ferret
  5. Buy food for ferret
  6. Buy snake as a companion for ferret.
  7. Buy gravestone for ferret
Then I'd probably just give the rest to the Christian church, on the pre-text that they leave me alone for life!  Ultimately it doesn't matter......I didn't win.

Cleaning the house tonight because we have a 'house inspection' from our landlord and lady tomorrow.  Should be great fun, especially after they fabricated these lies that our house has a mouse infestation and is a potential biohazard.  Total lies!  Not a trace of a mouse, we've even thrown cheese all over the floor to try and catch him (if he existed (if it's a he) ).  And by biohazard she was referring to bin bags full of rubbish around our house.  There was 2 bags full of RECYCLING in my room because I was TIDYING it!  But no, now that counts as a bloody biohazard?!  Anyway, so to make sure they can't say anymore of this crap, we're tidying the house really well tonight and tomorrow before they arrive.  Marco is doing the Lounge, Ricky is doing the kitchen, Ben's in Barcelona and I'm in charge of making sure that the door handles are spotless.  So far so good.  But I'm sure I'll update you on how it goes in Mondays blog.

So I leave you with this video my friends.  This happened last year.  Me and Ben were in one of our Uni's 24 hour open access centres doing some revision, when in comes 3 of our Hurn housemates who were very very drunk and annoying random people trying to do work.  Heres just one part of that night.  Catch you later Blig Blacs!
video



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