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21 May 2011

"Can't" is the cancer of happen

The day we ran out of gravity
Back again my giddy little gremlins!  Blog time once again.  Can my fans please stop sending me pairs of socks as presents!  I'm really greatful and I've tried to please as many of you as I can by wearing as many of them as possible, but I cant get my shoes on anymore.  I appreciate the love, but forget the socks, a generous cheque will suffice.

REVISION TIME!! I've done one exam and have one more next week, I wont say the location or time, because I don't want any fans swamping me during the exam, it's a little distracting.  Trying to write about Services Marketing isn't very easy with half naked girls draped over my desk begging for an autograph.  Just an inconvenience really.  I'll have my pencils thoroughly sharpened to stab any potential gatecrashing groupies.  Revision hasn't been going too well, procrastination is always at my door and I'm constantly letting him in.  He's so persuasive too, he makes me watch random youtube videos, play Zelda and alphebetise my collection of calculators.  I'd go tell the police to get him out of my house, but he'd love that because I'd just be procrastinating even more.  As I speak he's got me at gunpoint making me write this blog instead of revising.

It's now only 20 days, 18 hours, 2 minutes and 17 seconds until my girlfriend gets back to the UK, hopefully for good.  Going to be a little hectic for the first couple of months while I settle into my new job and house etc.  Would like to thank a good friend of mine who I went to school with for letting me and my girlfriend live with him and his housemates in London for the duration of my placement, although I'm not sure he knows what he's getting himself in for.  To be honest, I'm probably not the most ideal housemate for a number of reasons;
  1. I don't believe in doors.  They offend me.  All must be removed in the house before my arrival.
  2. I'm likely to play the entire works of Barry White until the early hours of the morning, you either get a love for soul, or get a love for a screwdriver in the neck.
  3. I'll be bringing my 2 pet furby's with me, Gadaffo and Isami Bin Ladi.  I try to control them, but they do have a habit of appearing in the airing cupboard when you're reaching for a fresh towel "Ahhh heheheh...play...now....yummm"
  4. I'll be tempted to operate my own international airport from the garden, although I'm sure my housemates can get discount fares to Ibiza.
  5. I'll be hosting my weekly meetings for the Womens Institute in the lounge, so if you're sexist then please leave the house during this time while we discuss knitting, moaning, moping and nagging.
Hope he's not reading this blog.

Getting a bit fed up of people thinking I'm gay.  I know I know I can be a little fruitful and perhaps a tad TOO enthusiastic at times but come off it.  I stand at the till at work with my hand on my hip and the other hand leaning on the counter and a woman says to her friend "wonder if he's gay".  What's the deal with that?!  I don't look at you with your low cut top, you're caked on make-up, your twin brats running around and your chav of a boyfriend and say "I wonder if she's on benefits"  Dumb bimbo.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a homophobe, nothing against gay people.  What has always perplexed me with gay men however is nothing more than...the tut.  By this I mean, you can be chatting to a bloke about a friend who's had a loss in their family and then all of a sudden "*tut* ooh I know *hand on shoulder*"  where has this tut come from?  Who decided that those who have been to camp 'Camp' need to add that little nugget of tongue tapping before sentences?!  It adds nothing, it just gets annoying.  If anything it just sounds like you're constantly criticising things.  Is it some sort of morse code attempt?  I don't know.  But when I start adding tuts to my exhuberant skipping and hand on my hip, THEN you may call me gay.  Who knows, maybe theres a perfect man waiting for me.....ooh chance would be a fine thing!

Hope I wasn't being offensive there.  That's not my style.  apologies if I have been.  Quick mention, want to say a huuuuge thank you to my amazing girlfriend who designed the new background for the blog.  I didn't even ask, she just did it.  Amazing.

I designed this video myself though, and it's designed to give you nightmares :p

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