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3 Aug 2011

The city life begins!!!

Left: My sister.  Right: My girl. Centre: Blog Hero!  

Now it may have been a while since my last blog and I do apologise, but I know you haven't forgotten about me have you?  Of course not, infact this blog has hit 4 more countries since my last post so I know you've all done your duty and spread this faster than cholera through a mining community.  But enough about disease and death, I'M FINALLY IN LONDON!  I'm well into my fourth week of my work placement and I'm loving it.  I wish I could tell you all about it....and I will.

Right chums.  So I moved to Oxford for 1 week, it was originally going to be a month, then 2 weeks and then they decided it would just be a week but that's fine.  I stayed in a house supplied by the company with the other interns, I felt like I was on the apprentice, living with the other candidates (except without the hate, deceit and free food).  I got to grips with the work and started to bond with my co-workers.  I say 'bond', more like work my magic of annoyance to ensure that when I'm gone that they'll remember me by being "that irritating little twerp who wouldn't shut the hell up".  I did it at uni, I did it at the co-op and now the wonder of David Honour the 4th has come to shake stuff up in my new workplace.  After the second week, they had a night out for the staff.  Totally immense.  We went up the Thames on a private boat with free bar, food and DJ.  Follow that up with heavy drinking and trademark dancing to Shakira in a club along with some decent winning at the casino and I think you'll agree that it was a brilliant start to my career.  When they looked at my CV, I'm sure that it was the section within my qualities entitled "Ability to dance like an epileptic grasshopper" that won them over. 

The work itself is also good fun, but it's the bits around the work that are best.  Such as the opportunities I get to wind up my manager.  I may be subbordinate, but I'm still a cheeky little devil with way too much enthusiasm considering I wake up at 6:30am to get there and the first thing I do is say something ingenious like "Remember, you don't have to be a farmer to be outstanding in your own field".  I think it's suitable that a co-worker has dubbed me 'Head of Motivation'.  What I lack in height, I make up for in annoyance, energy and of course good looks - it's all good for morale.  However, I have set out some targets for the year whilst I am working there, I'm sure you'd like to hear them.  WELL TOUGH!! I need to go to the toilet first.................................................................................................................................................................................................. Ok I'm back, thank you for waiting.  Right so my targets for the year are as follows;
  1. Become an alcoholic - If the people on the tube look and sound like they spend most of their time licking the pavement for a source of food after spending all their money on Lambrini then I'd like to blend in.
  2. Install a new computer system - Not to replace the current one, but so we can all have an extra computer to punch when our normal one messes up.
  3. Persuade my manager to introduce a show & tell day - I for one would be interested to see the designs of everyone elses toothbrushes one week.
  4. Invest in the stock market - Looking at the NASDAQ in the current climate against the current rate of 10234.43 means that stock should be bought against the HANG SENG for 3532.59.  I haven't a clue but it sounds so cool when you say it.
 You may also be interested to know that it is officially goodbye Bournemouth after this weekend.  Heading back there Friday night to sort the house out before moving everything up here on Sunday.  A lot of things need doing such as the removal of road signs and traffic control barriers from our garden, re-attaching doors to their frames and putting the roof back on.  The place needs a lot of work, think I may place an ad in the local paper for assistance "Bournemouth Council - If you want your road signs back, get round to my house and get it not only spick but more importantly span!"  That should do the trick.  If all else fails then I'm going to have to use the good old fashioned elbow grease (which isn't a type of cooking oil as I found out in the burns unit of Bournemouth hospital).  If anybody wants to lend a helping hand then that would be greatly appreciated, but it must be a helping hand, I don't want anyone lending a do-nothing hand!  Infact, all hands will be inspected to deduce helpfulness upon entry to my house.  Sort it out.

Well there you go buddys!  The blog is back.  I can't promise that I will back to my normal routine of 2 per week as this job is actually...work now!  Not only that but I STILL haven't received a birthday present from some of my readers so I'm not sure you should be treated so much until I get them.  Here's a new video for you though, enjoy my loyal bloggies!!

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