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5 Jul 2011

Return of the Blog 3: The other side of the till

I've hung up my badges for good
C'or you do get spoilt, yet aNOTHER blog for you to feast upon already.  Don't get used to it though, who knows I could just take a leaf from the teachers book and go on strike too...my pension scheme isn't particularly glamourous either you know!  This is the 3rd and final blog of my comeback, returning to the normal rhythm of Mondays and Fridays after this, not sure about this Friday however.  This Friday is the long awaited day when I head up to Oxford to begin my training for my placement.  Got an email today though which said that I will only stay there for 2 weeks, not a month as previously expected.  Looks like some busy times ahead; moving to Oxford, moving to London, blogging and tickling amputees.

So last Saturday was my last shift at the Co-Op.  It was a big wretch to leave I admit.  I've given that store 8 months of work and in return they've given me some really good memories, laughs and some great new friendships....oh and money....oh and 10% off purchases.  Whether its watching the security guard smash a shoplifter against the ice cream cooler with his head bleeding onto the floor, or coming up with nicknames for customers such as 'Venus Fly-Trap' and 'Smarmy', or simply watching your friend getting chatted up by a senior citizen...every shift promised something entertaining.  But life away from the panic button is so much more boring now, I want one more argument with an unruly customer, I want one more drunken fool to come in and argue with the Dorito's and headbut the 'Wet Floor' sign.  At the end of my shift I found myself begging "Let me serve just one more customer...don't take my badge!!", to anybody else it sounds insane, but I really did like that job a lot.  If you can't smile and show you're enjoying your work then you'll find that the shift takes longer and isn't very fun.  So I encourage all workers to wear a jolly face and be more upbeat...unless you're an undertaker.

Drinking on the job
Times change though and you have to move on.  I'm afraid that shop will have to try and cope without me now.  Not sure they'll be able to replace me though, not completely.  Who else would mince around the store, impersonating customers, winding up the supervisors by calling one of them "Dianne" just to annoy him for the whole time I worked there?  But don't you start thinking that I wasn't a good worker, I was superfantastic at reducterising the price of manky old products that nobody wants to buy (but who can say no to some stanky green steak covered in mould when its only 21p?) I could stock milk like a master (even stray cats were amazed by my milk handling abilities) and I could take longer breaks than anybody else.  You wanna try and replace me?  Good luck but you'll find yourself crying by the bins when you realise that you've lost the best and most awe-inspiringly good looking and productive worker you ever had.  Ok so maybe not the best looking EVER, but definately the best looking ever since Gordon Brown stopped working there.

Too cheery to work at the Co-op?
Final day went well though, until one customer came in.  He visited just to say hello on my final shift.  After I'd finished baggin his shopping and giving him his change, he shook my hand and said "It's been a pleasure meeting you, you're a credit to your parents, you really are"  he then took some beer out of his shopping bag and gave it to me.  I was so taken aback that I couldn't focus for a while.  It really actually meant a lot, that I had actually made a difference to that man, he came in just to see me and then did that.  Wow.  It's something that I will never forget and it was a great end to my final shift.  If that man ever finds himself reading this blog, I just want to say thank you and I hope you are well.  Like I said earlier, you can make your work better by wearing a smile and being upbeat, you can have a good time by making good friendships with your co-workers, but it can be those that you affect with your work and your spirit throughout that can really lift your day.  I'm proud of how I conducted myself during my work, no matter how much pratting around I did, I was professional when I needed to be and respectful to everyone.  I may have finished my time there, but I'm taking that knowledge with me.

So I thought that I'd pick up the tone a bit by uploading a video that I recorded tonight.  I went to the beach in the middle of the night with my girlfriend and 2 of my friends from the Co-op.  We got bored so we decided to show my girlfriend what it is like to be dead...so we buried her.

Next week - Cremation

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