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11 Mar 2012

Pigeons are rats with wings - Proof of evolution

Last day at school....last day I set foot in a library
Whats up people?  Back again in 1 week?  It's as if I've actually got back into the blogging malarky.  We'll see how things go, don't start writing an obituary for this blog just yet.  I've actually made a video for this blog which I haven't done in a while and I know that it's some peoples favourite bit.  I put far too much effort into this sometimes, but I'm glad you appreciate it.  Anyway, in the words of Prince Phillip "On with the rest of the blog!"

People often say to me "David, your hair is mighty nice, but it does make you look like a 13 year old Polish immigrant" and to that I say' thank you' but die a little inside too.  I've had my hair this way for years.  I've experimented with different styles a few times.  I've thought of growing it, but I dont like that phase of it being between short and long, you know.....shlong.  Don't like the thought of being a skin head.  I'd lose all identity.  This is how I am.  But I have thought of ways of adding to that identity.  I've considered getting a can of superglue glued to my face to outline the dangers of adhesives.  I've considered growing a beard, a moustache and a tail but I just cant pull it off.  I've even dabbled with the whole concept of decapitation but that may be a little over the top.

Many of you know that I hate tattoos, simply because people get them under impulse and get stupid things like pathetic little stars in places that people can't see them and mean nothing.  Then you get people who think they're being deep and philosophical by getting phrases such as "live your dreams" or "Life is beauty" on them.  Shut up.  Nobody looks at you and says "oh how right they are!".  No point in whining though, they're stuck with it now.  Life is full of mistakes but like a true genius I've come up with a way of feeling better about yourself when things do go wrong.  You can write a song, go for a walk or cry.  But trust me, if you do this then it will work miracles.  Get....A...Lava Lamp!  Seriously, I've never met a suicide victim who owned a lava lamp....come to think of it, I've never met a suicide victim....hmmm.  The point remains however that you can gaze into one of these things for hours pondering the big questions such as "what is that lava made of?" and "it's in 5 little globs and OH MY GOD 2 OF THE GLOBS JUST BECAME ONE!" it's sure to make you cheer up.  And the possibilities are endless; divorcees may patch things up when they realise that super-heated globs can merge after such a turbulant journey, sharks may become less ill tempered and maybe all that Isreal and Palestine need is a lava lamp!

Whilst you're pondering these facts, feel free to watch the video I've made for you.  Not as long as the older ones but I'm sure you'll appreciate the effort.  From my brain and into yours, until next time chums.....


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