Verrry busy month ahead. June is always an insane month for me. Currently my plans involve; picking my girlfriend up to start her life here in the UK, go to the Summer Ball which should be insane, go to Spain to see my family over there, finalise my housing arrangements in London and start getting ready to move to Oxford for my month of training. A lot. But add to that my other standard activities of taming a jackal, recording my own sitcom and writing my weekly love letters to Lightning from Gladiators. Hectic. But at the end of the day I can get home, jump into the tub with my Tesco value bubble bath, chow down on the sumptuous delicate cuisine of a £1 quiche and relax listening to the music of Vivaldi on my Fisher-Price cassette player. Now isn't that just perfection? I know you're all probably jealous of my delicately balanced lifestyle of work, rest and play but we can't all be a superstar stud-muffin can we?
Had an awful shift at work today. Got a terrible backache. Most likely from necktorectomy I had earlier. I know you're thinking "Dave?! You removed you neck?? But after your eyes, tongue and spare ribs, that's the best part of you!" I'm afraid it had to be done. You see I keep getting really hungry at random times, and I though a good remedy for getting rid of my food cravings is to make the journey from mouth to stomach shorter, thus satisfying my linger of hunger faster. There are downfalls to this however, for example should I get knocked unconscious by a crazed yak with an anger management problem, without my neck and because my wrists are covered by my sweatbands there is no way of checking my pulse. Therefore I have prepared myself for the possibility of being buried alive, I shall take the following items with me at all times...
- Dog - Companion and as it will probably die before me, will make a rather comfy pillow.
- Packet of M&Ms - I can challenge myself to guess the colour in the dark
- Sudoku challenge book - Endless fun for days
- Guide to coping with claustrophobia - For reference
- First aid kit - I may be dying shortly, but I still dont want a niggling paper-cut distrupting my fun.
- Gun - Don't want any other premature corpses trying to steal my M&Ms and my oxygen.
Enough ranting, time for bed me thinks. I always write these very late at night, but that's when I'm in the zone for spitting out drivvel - I know you love it. Unfortunately no video tonight as my latest one needs a re-edit. It's filmed and everything, just needs a few things sorted. However feel free to browse the archive of past blogs for your pleasure. Much love Blurg Blecks!