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24 Apr 2011

Life is like a box of screws, boaring.

Summer Ball last year, bring on JUNE!!!
Hula Hanoola!!!  How is everybody? No!  Really?  That's interesting!  Keep me updated on that.  So, very sorry that this blog is a little later than usual, no sweat, Monday's blog will be out as usual.  Just had some technical difficulties.  I thought my laptop had a virus so I gave it some cough syrup and gave it a nice warm bath.  It stopped working shortly after that...bloody virus.

Ok so I have an update for you.  As for my location of residence from July onwards, it IS NOT confirmed but it looks like it may be London.  Not sure how I feel about it yet, I did have my heart set on Oxford but I have a placement at a good company so I cant really complain.  I'm also looking into maybe going to Spain to see my Dad at the start of June (he lives there for those of you who don't know...jealous much?...ok, dont go all Kurt Cobain on me).

They don't even wear uniforms! Poor Service   
In preparation for looking at going to Spain, I started looking at flights.  I'm generally quite good at finding the best flights I can for the best price.  But bloody hell, I couldnt believe it when I found that Ryanair are taking the mick even more than usual.  Yeah they offer crap service and try and get money off you at any opportunity, but it's past a joke now.  I looked at some prices today, and not only have they increased the "online booking fee" (which isn't optional because its the only way you can book!) to £6 but now they've introduced a £2 per flight fee to get money back because of last years volcano crisis.  Its so stupid.  SO!  In my clever little way, I've decided to set up my OWN airline.  North Of Southen 'Emisphere airways, or NOSE Airways.  It will cost hardly anything to use, but there are certain conditions that you must agree to in order to fly:
  1. No Amputees.  These people become hazards if they are needed to open an emergency exit.
  2. No Lithuanians.  These people are fictional.  Think about it...have you ever met one?
  3. Maximum of 1 child under 5 may be stored in the cargo hold
  4. Pets are allowed, but must be at least 7 rows apart from any travelling taxidermists.
  5. Still water can't be served after take-off, it starts shaking immediately, thus preventing stillness.
Everybody knows that Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.  This is historically accurate, but did anyone question whether or not this particular yolk folk was paying its taxes correctly?  He may have been sat on the wall to evade the taxman (who has a bad neck and cant look up).  Surprisingly, there are few mixed race eggs around anymore too.  This may have been due to this scheme of separating the yolks from the whites...racial.  The point remains however that these beings should still have the same duties as us post-embryo people.  Therefore I decree that any egg avoiding tax from now on must be surrounded by soldiers and placed in a cup shaped cell until he cracks and tells all.  JUSTICE

Ok so I made a new video for you.  I can't take all the credit, this one was infact my GIRLFRIEND's idea.  I emphasise girlfriend because many of you may question my sexuality after watching it.  I also apologise because the recording cut out randomly so some of it is missing, probably for the best.  Nontheless, enjoy my bliggy blooogsss!

video





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